Expectations
Expectation: a belief that someone will or should achieve something
We all have them: of ourselves, of others, of life. There are certain things that we expect ourselves to achieve; ways that we expect our spouse and children to be; certain events that we expect to transpire in our lives; certain outcomes that we expect God to provide.
I have long known that I expect too much. It’s not that I expect great things; it’s just things like: expecting someone to understand what I’m talking about even if I don’t communicate well; expecting someone to know what I’m thinking without my telling them; expecting high levels of achievement from myself.
I tend to be hard on myself – more so in some areas than others – and set the standard high enough that it is pretty much unattainable. This is very true in what I believe others are expecting of me. For instance, I have been in a place recently where I believed Matt expected the house to be spotless when he came home. I was convinced that toys in the floor, unwashed dishes in the sink, or a pile of unfolded laundry on the couch was a disappointment to him. I mean, I’m home all day now, why shouldn’t I be able to accomplish everything? He never said this was true; he never did anything to make me believe that this was true. It was all in my head. I make myself believe that perfection is expected and if I can’t achieve perfection then I have totally failed.
I also fear failure. You know the old saying, “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”? It is not my motto. I have long been the type of person that believed I should be good at something the first time I try it. If I’m not good at it, what is the point in trying again? Trying again is just setting myself up for embarrassment and failure. Often, if I convince myself that I can’t do something to my level of expectation then I might as well not do it at all.
Over the last few weeks, God has been teaching me a bit about expectations, especially the things I expect of myself. I have come to realize that this is something that is preventing me from becoming the woman God desires me to be. My expectations are holding me back from living the abundance of life that is mine in Christ. This is an area where I have been held captive; a stronghold that Satan had on my mind and heart. I am in the process of turning it over to God; letting the light of Christ shine in the dark places of my heart.
In Luke 4:18 Christ is reading from the prophecy of Isaiah and says, “He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed.” I claim this promise for myself through Christ, and you can too.
In my “growning up” I have definitely realized my expectations of life, marriage, motherhood and myself. I definitely think the quicker we learn that our expectations of life need to be God’s expectations, the faster we learn our “lesson”! I think that Satan uses our unreal expectations to hold us back from, what you said, abudant like with Christ… which is a shame! Like you said, Bubba hasn’t told you he expected the things that you felt were necessary, but you were held captive…. Christ is also like that with me. Once we’ve reached the place where we are moldable… He asks us why we’ve been reaching for something that isn’t HIS expectation…. My whole marriage has been a huge lesson of expectations. I expect so much out of other ppl and myself…. to the point of where it could be exhausting and impossible. I think I’ve lightened up on Hubbie, but still very hard on myself as far as working and being a mother and wife….. It is definitely something that tends to be a daily struggle at times! Thanks for the post! Definitely made me think…. which is always good! Love ya!