Quick, before I get Sidetrack'd

Close encounters

Thoughtfully penned on September 17th, 2008 and generally concerning Highly Comical, Life with littles

The day started off like so many others, a walk to the park with friends, some time on the playground, home for lunch and nap.  Little requested a pb&j for lunch, such a benign request…

Pulling the store-bought bread from the top of the fridge I noticed that there were only five slices left, not enough to do Little’s lunch, BLTs for dinner, and sandwiches for Matt’s lunches the rest of the week.  No problem, I’ll pull out the rest of last week’s homemade bread for Little’s lunch, we’ll have BLTs on the store-bought for dinner, and I’ll get a fresh batch of bread baking for Matt’s lunches.  The plan worked so nicely in my head.

The last of the homemade bread was quite hairy.  Okay, back to store-bought for Little’s lunch.  PB&J accomplished and on her plate with a side of mandarin oranges.  Time to start baking.

I pulled up the step stool for Little to stand on so she could watch me mix and knead the dough.  I set Boo up in the exersaucer to jump to his little heart’s content.  I grabbed my recipe (trying a new one this week) and started gathering the ingredients and utensils I would need.

Out of the pantry came the new bag of whole wheat flour.  As I walked past the fridge I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye, but decided that it was just a reflection in the stainless steel on the refrigerator.  About the time I reached to set the flour onto the counter I felt something brush my hand.  Looking down I saw a huge – two inches, I do not exaggerate – roach on the flour bag.  I reflexively shrieked and dropped the flour onto the kitchen floor (fortunately, the bag did not bust).

This, of course, scared the children.  Little stuck her thumb in her mouth and looked at me wide-eyed trying to figure out what was wrong with Momma.  Boo started wailing.

The Bug flew onto the side of the refrigerator and was peering out at me menacingly from the space between the fridge and the cabinets.  I, being the strong and brave woman that I am, picked up the phone and called Matt breathlessly saying, “It’s on the fridge.  What do I do?” Being the wise man that he is, he told me to put the kids in Little’s room and get out the bug spray.

Let the hilarity ensue.

I tried spraying Bug on the side of the fridge and it immediately ran behind the fridge.  Okay, what to do now?  Matt suggested pulling out the fridge so I could see behind it.  He’s smart I tell ya.  While I pulled the fridge Bug decided to get on top of the fridge where we keep the paper plates and plastic eating utensils; yick!  I cautiously began moving things on the top of the fridge scared the entire time that Bug was going to fly at me.  At this point Matt told me he wished the phone was a camera so he could see me and laugh instead of just laughing at me over the phone.

I didn’t find Bug up there.  I climbed down off the stool and continued the search.  There was a rustling noise that seemed to come from beside or behind the fridge; maybe I got it and it is now in the last throes of a painful death.  I started to relax a bit.

Glancing to my right I saw none other than Bug prancing merrily along a plastic grocery bag in the pantry.  Ack!  It flew onto the pantry door where I doused it with liberal amounts of bug spray.  Once it hit the ground I whacked it repeatedly with a shoe.  Victory is mine!

By this time both of the kids have lost it and are boo-hooing in Little’s room; we were all a bit traumatized by the whole experience.  I went in and soothed them then went back to the kitchen to clean up the bug spray.  After clean up was complete I brought both kids back to the kitchen to restart the bread making process.  I opened the bag of flour and found a meal bug crawling down the inside of the bag.

Sorry folks, it’s store-bought bread for this week.  I may never make bread again.

Noise from the peanut gallery

  1. Ack! Gross! That is hilarious! I too wish I had gotten to see that….. Yuck!!!

  2. Oh goodness! I feel so sorry for you! I can imagine reacting in the same way. If I didn’t have the kids, I would probably walk (run) out of the house and not come back until someone else took care of it, but as a mom, I have to be brave and get the bugs myself. Not something I’m fond of, but the kids are usually impressed!

  3. Sorry to be laughing, but the image is just too funny. I had to do battle with a giant grasshopper today. With all the flooding, they apparently sent out the word that our basement is a great place to stay because I found two more hopping around later. Bugs are icky!! Glad you saved the babies from the bug.

  4. I couldn’t laugh. I abhor roaches. Gives me the heeby jeebies. I would have left and not gone back in the house till Tim was home.

  5. Yes, my dear sweet girl, you are related to me. Only the children keep you in the house to deal with the bug instead of shrieking out the front door to wait for Matt to come home.

    Just the other night Katy was jumping on me on the couch, because there was a spider on the floor. Your Uncle Randall saved us from the big creepy spider.

    Love ya all,
    Aunt Nan

  6. so I probably shouldn’t be laughing, but I couldn’t help it!

    FUNNY!

  7. OH. MY. GOSH! I would’ve had a heart attack!

  8. Oh my gosh! I definitely should not have read this right before bed!

    Steph

  9. i’m dying laughing! oh my gosh…the image in my head has me ROLLING! and suddenly i’m reminded of the mouse in our dorm suite that was staring at me from atop the phone book..you so practically suggested there was nothing to be afraid of, then went to your side, stuffed three towels under the door and went to bed leaving me and kelly to deal with the harbinger of rabies!!!!!