Rough times
Today I had a meltdown. One of those ugly cry, snot dripping down face, curl up in the fetal position kind of meltdowns. Fortunately, my best friend lives two doors down and came running to my rescue as soon as she answered my tear muffled call; otherwise, I might still be laying in the floor in a puddle of tears as the children screamed around me.
It wasn’t pretty, but it was very, very real. This is how life feels right now. We’ve all been sick for a month. The baby is teething. I can’t stay on top of the chores like I feel I should. Life has caught up to me and is dragging me down. I am weary, to the bone and deep into my soul.
I’m praying for reprieve. I’m praying for strength. This seems to be one of those times when God is forcing me to my knees and yet I’ve continued to fight it for too long now. I don’t know what I’m “chasing”, but it is running faster than I can and is obviously not the right thing.
Please forgive me if you don’t see me here often. Please forgive me if I don’t make it by your place as often as I would like. It’s rough times and I’m trying to muster through.
My light at the end of the tunnel right now is a scheduled retreat this weekend with several women I love and am honored to call my friends. The baby will come with me (Daddy would not be too happy if I left him at home since he won’t take a bottle!), but I’m hopeful that a change of scenery and a change of routine will do my mind, my heart, and my body good.
Until then, I will meditate on these verses:
“He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.” Isaiah 40:11
“Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:30-31
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I love that Isaiah verse. I hadn’t seen it until a summer Bible study and it was one of those BAD days and it just nourished my soul. I am so very glad that you have such a wonderful friend a few doors down. She is a Godsend to you. I wish I lived closer so that I could help also. I love you. You are a FANTASTIC mommy. We all fall behind on chores and you get a “pass”….your household has been sick for a month. Take a break. Let yourself feel God’s love…even when we don’t feel pretty! You know I’ve been here too many times too count!
We have all been there and those that say they have not are not being honest. I’m praying for you!
From someone who has been in that same puddle, it’s not going anywhere. Take care of yourself and your babies first. The other stuff will always be waiting for you. Love you all.
Sometimes when you have a toddler and a baby there just needs to be cleansing tears. So sorry. You have my full sympathy!!!!!
Jana, I am so sorry you are dealing with this now. I have felt very similarly lately because I have been sick for a long time as well. As much as I try to be positive and thankful, I have had several breakdowns lately simply from weariness and frustration. As much as it feels like it, you are not alone. I will pray that you feel surrounded by God, your family, and your friends right now!
You are answering the most fulfilling call of womanhood, I do believe. Nobody said it was the easiest, but few have shared how truly hard it can be. Praying for a recovery to health for the family and a wonderfully encouraging weekend of fellowship for you.
Oh girl, I have SO. BEEN. THERE. For me, I know that’s when I have to say, “Ok Lord, I quit. Obviously I cannot do this in my own strength. I surrender it all (chores, kids, etc) to you”
You will have a great time on your retreat and I’ll be praying for ya!
jana, we’ve all been there..i’m so glad you had a wonderful friend close by to come to your aid! i hope you have a great retreat and feel rejuvenated afterwards ((HUGS))