Quick, before I get Sidetrack'd

Three’s a crowd?

Thoughtfully penned on September 7th, 2009 and generally concerning Family, Life with littles, Motherhood, S

As you know, unless this is your first visit to Sidetrack’d, we are expecting to welcome baby #3 to our family in early January. Three doesn’t seem like an abnormally large family to Matt and me, but a good size portion of the rest of America doesn’t seem agree with that. Apparently, we are in the process of becoming a full-fledged traveling show.

Now, I will grant that we do have our children fairly close together – Little and Boo are 20.5 months apart and Boo and Baby Girl will be not quite 21 months apart – which I’m sure adds to our oddity. But if you know us well, you know that this is just one way, definitely not the only way, in which we’re a bit strange.

Last Monday was the big ultrasound day. All along we had planned to take Little with us, but due to appointment time, scheduling conflicts, and prior commitments, we decided to take Boo as well. The looks began as soon as we walked in the doctors’ office door. And I don’t just mean people glancing up from their books and magazines to see who’d entered the building, I mean people on the other side of the room fully turning around in their chairs to see us entering (fortunately, Matt was with us or I’m sure I really would have gotten some looks!). The children were well-behaved and fairly quiet (as quiet as a 3 year old and 16 month old can be expected to be), but you could just feel the unspoken comments.

This isn’t our first encounter with this type of thing either. Since I’ve had enough baby bump for people to recognize that I’m pregnant we’ve heard all the “wow, you’ll have your hands full” and “three little ones; you’ll be busy” type comments. And, of course, we’ve noticed the looks that say “are you crazy?!” or something of that sort. I’m sure it will only get more prevalent as we get closer to welcoming Baby Girl and then, especially, when I’m out alone with all three of them.

But it makes me wonder: if we get this kind of censure (at least that is the word that comes to mind) as a soon to be family of five, what do larger families feel when they are in public together?

Noise from the peanut gallery

  1. I so remember comments people made years ago when I was pregnant with our third child and it wasn’t pretty. Don’t know why people think you need their insights?

  2. you guys aren’t strange (and if you are then so are we) and I think you and your family set a great example of what a family should really be. So hold your head high and keep on keeping on!

  3. Bebe (GranMom) · September 8th, 2009 at 9:16 am

    Imagine the looks and comments your cousin B gets with their gang of 10! I don’t think a family with 3 children is that unusual, at least it didn’t use to be (and I agree with Lindsey’s comment)

  4. I fully understand where you are coming from! There is a 19.5 month difference in our first two, then 24.5 months between the next two, and 26 months between the third and fourth! Sometimes I feel like a freak because we get looks and comments all the time.

    When I was pregnant with #4, I frequently took the other three to the midwife with me and know people thought we were weird, but I looked at it as a witness to others that a mom can have multiple small children and love it and have them all behave together!

    Even now, I have a hard time not feeling hurt at the looks and comments, but recently Brian and I had the whole crew in a fast food place one Friday night and we had two differnt couples come up to us and compliment us on our family and the children’s behavior. How wonderful to receive positive comments and know we are doing something right!

  5. I don’t get what you mean. You are getting weird looks for having three or having three close in age?

  6. Mama Mia! We’re in the same boat… maybe not as close as all of y’alls kiddos, but still. You know, I got comments about getting my tubes tied after no 2. People just think its such an oddity for people to actually enjoy having children. I won’t even go into the comments we’ve had from friends about how many children people should have, etc. :)

  7. If you and Matt are living your life the way you want. You are not hurting anyone, just minding your own business, living your Christian life the way you want too. Why do you care what other people think? Webb’s are generally not followers.

    Love ya,
    Aunt Nan

  8. well since i only have one i don’t know about the big family looks, but what business is it of theirs anyway?? this is YOUR family and your life and if you want to have six kids, you go right ahead and hold your head up high! but i do know about the judgemental looks–why are women so bad at judging others–i remember when my hands were too swollen to wear a wedding band and there i was this huge pregnant woman in the office for a visit, without my husband since he was working…oh wow! the looks!!!! and then the comments and looks when i would bottle/formula feed reagan…i swear…if looks could kilL!!!!