Quick Before I Get Sidetrack'd

Here are some recent conversational funnies from chez sidetrack’d…

Talking to Little:

Little: Question number one…Mommy. Who makes toes? (this is a little game she’s been playing lately. the answer is always Jesus.)
Me: Jesus
Little (deadpan): Jesus and God. There are a lot of toes.

Then there was this one:

Me (to Matt): Little told me today that I am a princess.
Little: I was just pretending!

Ouch!

And, filed under statements you never thought you would have to make:

“Boo, don’t put your bacon in your ear!”

which ranks right up there with the admonition we had to give Little when she was about 15 months old: “Don’t lick the toilet!”

Yep, never a dull moment around here.

The things Little says and the way she phrases things have been cracking me up lately. Here are a few examples of her latest wisecracks.

~A couple of weeks ago she was telling us about an episode of Caillou she likes. In the show there is a big storm and Caillou’s home loses power, so the family has a “camp out” in living room to stay warm around the wood burning fireplace. In Little’s words, “And then Caillou’s daddy puts some wood in the TV/XBox thingy and makes a fire!”

~When we went on vacation a couple of weeks ago my parents borrowed my aunt’s minivan so we could all ride together. The van has a TV/VCR in it, so I was telling Little that she would be able to watch movies in the car while we traveled. She asked (with awe in her voice): “They have an XBox in their car?!” (Obviously watching Netflix via XBox is making a big impression on her life!)

~Wednesday evening we were sitting around the dinner table chatting about our days. Matt and I were asking Little about her morning at BSF and inquired if they went outside since it was a pretty day. She said, “We didn’t get to play outside, but we went on a walk outside. And it was more fun than a duckling!”

~On Thursday’s all of Little’s closest friends are in school or mother’s day out programs. We usually use the day for errands, doctor appointments, or just stay-at-home and chill days. This week Little was asking when she would be old enough to go to school (which is a fairly common refrain around here) and I told her that when she started school she would probably stay at home with Mommy and Jack and we would have school here. Incredulously she asked, “We’re going to build a school, Mommy?!”

~And still on the school topic, on Saturday she was pondering things school related when she asked, “Mommy, when you are my teacher can I still call you Mommy?”

We also had several in-depth conversations this weekend on a variety of topics including Heaven/death/Jesus, school, and automatic car washes. She’s growing up, that girl!

Little: I hear Jesus!
Matt: You do?
Little: Uh huh.
Matt: What is he saying?
Little (shouting): Hey!

Little isn’t much for dialogue yet, but she does occasionally say something funny. One morning the first part of the week she and I were sitting on her bed talking about the letters on her wall that spell her name.

Little: Whas dat? (pointing at her letters)

Me: Those are the letters that spell your name. The letters are L-I-T-T-L-E (except using her real name). That spells Little and that is your name.

She continued to play for a few minutes.

Me: What is your name?

Little: siddy (silly)

And what could I do but laugh?

Matt spent the last few days attending a conference in Portland, Oregon. After his sessions ended Saturday evening he took the MAX (light-rail public transportation) to the other side of the river to wander around in a shopping area downtown.

As he walked up the street he was approached by a man asking for a quarter or fifty cents. Matt told the man he was sorry, but he didn’t have any change and continued walking along the street. Several minutes later, Matt was walking on another street and was approached by the same man asking for a quarter or fifty cents. Thinking it was odd that a panhandler was asking for such a small amount, Matt asked what he was planning to do with the quarter. The man replied that many times when he asked for a small amount someone would give him more than that. He told Matt that just the week before he had asked someone for a quarter and they gave him a twenty dollar bill. He went on to detail the number of various kinds of currency he has received over the last couple of years – probably 15 twenties, 7 or 8 fives, and lots of ones.

At this point Matt asked if he just walked around downtown asking for money. The man replied, “No, I’ve got a studio apartment.”

I laughed out loud when Matt repeated the last sentence of the conversation. He went on to tell Matt that he had applied for public housing at some point but was turned down. Could it be that all those quarters added up to too much income?