Quick, before I get Sidetrack'd

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about simplicity and living a simple life. Over the past few days and weeks, the idea seems to be everywhere I look – on blogs I read, in my Bible class at church – pervading my thoughts. My ideas aren’t cohesive enough at this time to write about my perspective on the topic, but I wanted to share a couple of links to blog posts that I’ve enjoyed recently.

Last week Meredith at Like Merchant Ships did a series entitled “How to Live Well on Less”; links to each post in the series can be found here. She writes about budgeting, purchasing, decorating, and finding beauty in what you own.

Then I read a post by Brant at Letters from Kamp Krusty titled “Here’s to Nothing!” in which he writes about how his family’s approach to life has impacted others in their neighborhood.

I would enjoy hearing your thoughts on simplicity as well – what “simple living” means, how it can be accomplished, things you’ve done to simplify your life or household. Leave a comment and let’s see what where this discussion might lead.

Oxford American dictionaries list the following among the synonyms for challenge – test, tax, strain, stretch, stimulate, inspire, and excite. When I made the decision to participate in the challenge that Sheryl was setting for herself I had no idea what the next 21 days would hold. That was probably a good thing.

Beginning July 2nd I set out to pray for/about the following three things each day:

1. The words that come from my mouth
2. Our impending move, Matt’s new job, and the sale of our house
3. A new church home in Nashville

I have consistently been praying about the words of my mouth and the attitudes of my heart (because that is the root of all I say and do). Specifically, I’ve been praying the words of Psalms 141:3 and Proverbs 31:26.

Over the last few weeks I’ve noticed (and hope those around me have noticed) a shift toward kinder, gentler words. One particular focus of my prayers was that I would not be irritated with Little for interrupting what I was doing and demanding attention when I was focused on something else. I feel that God has really been softening my heart toward the gift that is my baby girl. When she seeks attention now, I try to stop what I’m doing (if that is feasible) and play or snuggle. As her Momma, I represent security and love to her, two things that she needs that only I can provide. Not that I’ve perfected this or conquered these issues, but I can see the work of God in the area of my motivations and speech. I continue to pray that I will speak words of wisdom, words of edification, words of love to those I interact with, especially Matt and Little.

The prayers about our move and selling the house really stirred things up around here. I’ve spoken about the saga surrounding our non-move in previous posts, so I won’t rehash all of that here; I will mention how God continues to deal with me in this area.

When we moved here two years ago we really felt we were being called to this place for a specific Kingdom purpose. As the Nashville situation unfolded I convinced myself that the lessons we’ve learned regarding what the church should be, how we are to be recognized as Christ followers, and what it means to be “in the world, but not of it” were the lessons we were brought here to learn.

Over the weeks of prayer about our move I was convicted that there is more here that God has prepared in advance for us to do. I felt led to repent of the way I had tried to “take over” God’s plan and decide what it was we were supposed to learn or do here. Now I look forward to seeing how God’s purposes unfold in and around my family.

Through these three weeks my patience has been tested, my emotions have been taxed, my mental capacity has been strained, my faith has been stretched, my prayer life has been stimulated, my hope has been inspired, and I’ve become excited about what the future holds.

Thank you to those of you who have read my posts and prayed for us as I went through this challenge (and the moving situation). And I especially thank our friends (some of whom I know read here although they rarely comment) who have come alongside us in prayer and conversation as we’ve worked through this time of testing.

Sometimes we are led on journeys that don’t move us physically but still have great impact in our lives. We have been on one of those journeys these last ten days.

On Monday, Matt had multiple opportunities open up within a matter of hours. On Tuesday, he spent the day interviewing with a local company. On Wednesday, he met with his current boss. Today, we have come full-circle.

The “for sale” sign is gone. The boxes are being unpacked. We are staying right where we’ve been – in our house with Matt continuing to go to the same job each day.

Physically, we never moved; spiritually, God has used these ten days in a mighty way. We have seen Him move in great and mysterious ways. We have been stretched in our faith and humbled by the plans of God.

I continue to pray that through this we bear witness to the faithfulness and provision of our Lord. And today, I rest knowing that “many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” (Proverbs 19:21, ESV)

As I mentioned in my last post, things are not turning out as we had envisioned in regard to our upcoming move.

We were slated to move on Friday, the 20th (a week from tomorrow) and for Matt to begin his new job on Monday, the 23rd. We have a truck reserved, utilities transfers ordered, boxes packed, and are set to sign a lease on an apartment in Nashville on Monday, the 16th.

But now, everything is changing.

The information Matt came across indicated various levels of personality conflict, mismanagement, and incompetence. There also appears to be a huge amount of employee turnover considering the size of the company. In total these factors are significant enough that we began to doubt that things were as good as they originally appeared.

Through much prayer and conversation, we have decided that this isn’t the right position and situation for our family. If the job didn’t require a long-distance move, selling our house, etc, it might be a risk we felt comfortable taking. With things the way they are, it isn’t worth the uncertainty.

Over the last few days we have come to several realizations about God’s work through out this process. From the beginning we have prayed for wisdom, discernment, and that all we did would be about the righteousness of God. I believe this information has come to light in answer of our prayers for wisdom. As my friend Diane said yesterday, it seems like this is protection from the Holy Spirit.

And now, we walk by faith and not by sight. Matt is scheduled to leave his current position as of Thursday, July 19th.

I anticipate the things that are to come. I recognize God’s sovereignty now more than ever. I sit in trust of His faithfulness, of His provision, of His love.

The God I serve has a sense of humor; and if this isn’t proof of that, what comes next will be an even greater adventure!

“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” Proverbs 19:21

Sheryl has written a series of thoughtful and thought provoking posts this week on her challenge. I’m certain that I won’t be nearly as inspiring, but thought I would give something of an update on the process of God at work in my life.

The last few days I have prayed my verses (Psalms 141:3 and Proverbs 31:26) in full or paraphrase at least once a day. I try to begin each day by focusing on the idea of God setting a guard on my mouth and of opening my mouth with wisdom and the teaching of kindness.

My reactions to Little have really begun to change from frustration at being interrupted or needed all the time to truly recognizing that she is a blessing and gift from God and that this time in her life will be short and one day I will miss being needed and holding her close to comfort her. Sheryl’s post on Day 2 really made me think about the fact that I am what Little needs right now – I am her security and comfort – and I am the only one who can meet that need.

I did slip up yesterday when I used a hard tone of voice with a security guard. I was meeting friends for lunch and getting irritated at not being able to find a parking spot at the restaurant. When I finally did find a spot, got the car turned off, and started to unbuckle Little, the security guard (for the bank in the next part of the development) informed me that I couldn’t park there unless I had bank business. I commented that there was no sign to that effect; he answered that he was there to be the sign. In frustration I uttered some things in a not so nice tone of voice that were not edifying. Maybe I also need to work on submitting to the authority placed over us.

In regard to the move and the house – we had one showing this week and have received no feedback or additional communication. I’m hoping that this weekend will produce more results – at least more showings – but nothing doing at the moment. I’m trying to focus on the sovereignty of God in this matter. He knows how, when, and to whom the house will sell. All I can do is pray that it will happen quickly and that I won’t be anxious about it.

As I was reading Hebrews this morning, I noticed chapter 2 verse 8 refers to the sovereignty of Christ. The second part of the verse reads, “Now in putting everything in subjection to him, he left nothing outside his control.”

Although the context of this verse is Christ as the author and founder of salvation, I believe that the words everything and nothing are used in the broadest sense meaning that Christ is the head of all things and that all things (in heaven, on earth, and under the earth) are in subjection to him. This means that the sell of my house, a new church home, our move, and the words of my mouth are all under his control. Praise God!

Sheryl at Peanut Butter and Jelly Boats is challenging herself to 21 days of prayer and fasting to help her overcome some issues with what comes out of her mouth (see post here). She invited her fellow bloggers to join in the challenge, and I’ve decided to come alongside both in praying for her and challenging myself.

Although I’m not planning to share whether or not I’m fasting (I’ve decided that this is best left between God and me), I will write about the specific things I’m praying about and through and how God is at work in those things.

Now, since that last sentence was clear as mud, let’s get started.

~~ I will be praying, along with Sheryl, about the words that come out of my mouth; this is a constant struggle. I want the words that I speak to be edifying, gentle, and kind whether I’m speaking to a stranger, a friend, or Matt and Little. I will focus specifically on praying the following verses:

~~ I will be praying about the sale of our house and our impending move; that everything we do will be to the glory of God.

~~ I will be praying about finding a new church home in Nashville. It took us a year and a half to find a church here (that’s a long story for another time), and I’m hopeful that the lessons God taught us in that time only have to be learned once.

Today is actually day two of the challenge (yep, that’s me – a day late and a dollar short), so for the next 20 days I will be praying with and for Sheryl about the words of our mouths and also about these other things.

In other (but somewhat related) news, I’m also challenging myself to get back in the habit of exercising; I’ve always heard that it takes 21 days to create a habit, so the timing is just right. For the next 21 days I will walk or do some other form of exercise (like load and unload boxes) for 30 minutes each day. As a kind of accountability, I will add to the bottom of my posts a note about whether or not I’ve had my walk for the day. So far, so good – Little and I walked for at least 30 minutes both yesterday and today.

The last few weeks have been rough on me. There hasn’t been anything major, or even anything specific, but I’ve felt weary and worn most days; coming down with the plague hasn’t helped things either. I’m pretty confident in the fact that my malaise stems, at least in part, from not spending the time that I should in prayer, scripture reading, and meditation on the things of God. When I get out of the habit of quiet time I tend to find myself besieged by the thoughts and worries of the world.

Toward the end of last week I was reading a post at Days to Come and came across this sentence, “But my future is in the hands of the same God who was sovereign of my past.” This thought has stuck with me for several days, reverberating around in my head at various times.

It isn’t healthy to dwell on the past, but it is good to consider from time to time how God has been faithful in your past. Looking back I can see how God orchestrated events, people, and places to make me the person, wife, mother, and Christ follower that I am today. Reflection of this type leads me to gratefulness and praise which leads me back into the throne room of the Father.

This life isn’t always easy. We are beset daily by the cares and struggles of a fallen world, but I know that He is in control and that he is faithful. Hebrews 13:8 says, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” In this I can rest. In this I find joy.

Expectation: a belief that someone will or should achieve something

We all have them: of ourselves, of others, of life. There are certain things that we expect ourselves to achieve; ways that we expect our spouse and children to be; certain events that we expect to transpire in our lives; certain outcomes that we expect God to provide.

I have long known that I expect too much. It’s not that I expect great things; it’s just things like: expecting someone to understand what I’m talking about even if I don’t communicate well; expecting someone to know what I’m thinking without my telling them; expecting high levels of achievement from myself.

I tend to be hard on myself – more so in some areas than others – and set the standard high enough that it is pretty much unattainable. This is very true in what I believe others are expecting of me. For instance, I have been in a place recently where I believed Matt expected the house to be spotless when he came home. I was convinced that toys in the floor, unwashed dishes in the sink, or a pile of unfolded laundry on the couch was a disappointment to him. I mean, I’m home all day now, why shouldn’t I be able to accomplish everything? He never said this was true; he never did anything to make me believe that this was true. It was all in my head. I make myself believe that perfection is expected and if I can’t achieve perfection then I have totally failed.

I also fear failure. You know the old saying, “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”? It is not my motto. I have long been the type of person that believed I should be good at something the first time I try it. If I’m not good at it, what is the point in trying again? Trying again is just setting myself up for embarrassment and failure. Often, if I convince myself that I can’t do something to my level of expectation then I might as well not do it at all.

Over the last few weeks, God has been teaching me a bit about expectations, especially the things I expect of myself. I have come to realize that this is something that is preventing me from becoming the woman God desires me to be. My expectations are holding me back from living the abundance of life that is mine in Christ. This is an area where I have been held captive; a stronghold that Satan had on my mind and heart. I am in the process of turning it over to God; letting the light of Christ shine in the dark places of my heart.

In Luke 4:18 Christ is reading from the prophecy of Isaiah and says, “He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed.” I claim this promise for myself through Christ, and you can too.

Today is Easter. For many people today is simply about bunnies, baskets, and egg hunts. For many, today is simply about going to church (many from a sense of obligation) then gathering with family and friends to enjoy good food. For me, as a Christian, today is about the glory of God being revealed, about victory over death and triumph over a fallen world, about the hope I have of one day singing with the angels gathered around the throne of God. Today is the celebration of Christ’s rising from the grave, the miracle of all miracles, the reason we can celebrate throught the year and enjoy the other activities we engage in today.

I hope this morning finds you reflecting on the empty tomb and filled with joy that He is risen. He is risen indeed!

At 1:59 a.m. Matt and I were awakened by cries coming from Little’s room. I realize that in many households this is not unusual, but when it happens around here you can be pretty sure that there is a problem. Matt jumped out of bed, literally, and went to Little’s rescue. It seems that she had her leg stuck between the slats on her crib and when she moved the rest of her body that leg just wouldn’t come along like it should. Her Daddy gently freed her leg and then picked her up to comfort and reassure her.

She went back to sleep pretty quickly; it took me a while. When I’m having trouble going to sleep I often pray. As I lay there in the dark praying I thought about how our Father is always there; it doesn’t matter what time of day or night we call out, it doesn’t matter if we’ve just talked to Him or if it has been awhile, it doesn’t matter if it’s the time we usually talk to Him or if we’re calling out in fear, discomfort, pain, desperation. He is always there with open ears, open arms, an open heart. He is always there to pick us up, to comfort us, to reassure us.

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33